Tomorrow, 3rd September, my children begin a new academic year. And with them, I also feel that I’m beginning my new year! Forget 1st of January, when most of us set ambitious goals. The official start of the year in the depth of winter, when our natural energy levels are at their lowest, is certainly not the right time for attempting any dramatic changes – it’s no wonder most New Year’s resolutions fail.
From a yogic perspective, we should ideally be taking our cue from the natural world, which means that our new year should actually be the beginning of spring, when everything in nature starts to come alive again after the winter lull. But for me, and maybe for a lot of you too, it’s the new academic year that feels like the real New Year – the result of decades spent in formal education, first myself and now my children. Laminating their new school timetables, scheduling new after-school activities, buying new textbooks and notebooks, I also feel ready for a renewal, especially after having had some proper rest (slower mornings, swimming in the sea and having time to read novels being the things that recharge my batteries the most). There is nothing like a holiday, however short, to stir up a desire for change in the sense of some sort of “upgrade”, even more so the long, lazy (in the best possible way) days of summer, when we often have more time to reflect on how we can improve ourselves and our lives.
So here are 2 self-talk hacks that I have found very helpful in effecting lasting change:
From “I can’t” to “I don’t”
Let’s say you want to eat more healthily. Instead of telling yourself “I can’t eat sweets every day.” or “I can’t drink during the week.”, try to reframe this as: “I don’t eat sweets every day.” or “I don’t drink during the week.” This small language shift can be a game changer, turning a constant feeling of deprivation to a feeling of empowerment!
“I’m someone who…”
Instead of “I’m trying to eat more healthily.”, keep reminding yourself that: “I’m someone who eats healthily.”
Our brain believes the identity we practise, so when we start to see ourselves differently, our habits naturally follow, simply because actions that align with our identity require much less willpower.
Then again, if you still find yourself failing, please, please, please do not feel disheartened and give up. Be empathetic towards yourself, remember that we are all human and we will often fail. The important thing is to continue practising!